I Am A Doris…

You are a Doris — “I must help others.”

Dorises are warm, concerned, nurturing, and sensitive to other people’s needs.

How to Get Along with Me

• * Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific.
• * Share fun times with me.
• * Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours.
• * Let me know that I am important and special to you.
• * Be gentle if you decide to criticize me.

In Intimate Relationships

• * Reassure me that I am interesting to you.
• * Reassure me often that you love me.
• * Tell me I’m attractive and that you’re glad to be seen with me.

What I Like About Being a Doris

• * being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
• * knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
• * being generous, caring, and warm
• * being sensitive to and perceptive about others’ feelings
• * being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

What’s Hard About Being a Doris

• * not being able to say no
• * having low self-esteem
• * feeling drained from overdoing for others
• * not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
• * criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
• * being upset that others don’t tune in to me as much as I tume in to them
• * working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

Dorises as Children Often

• * are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
• * try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
• * are outwardly compliant
• * are popular or try to be popular with other children
• * act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
• * are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Dorises), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Dorises)

Dorises as Parents

• * are good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren’t)
• * are often playful with their children
• * wonder: “Am I doing it right?” “Am I giving enough?” “Have I caused irreparable damage?”
• * can become fiercely protective